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I'm moving....to here!
Catch me when you can!

Mad Men and domestic violence

Something I've been pondering for a while.

Deeply Problematic brings up an excellent point about Mad Men, Joan, her fiance and the vase she smashed over his head.


Basically, when does society label and condone or allow violence as domestic violence?

Is it violence (domestic) when the perpetrator is a male or female? When they are retaliating against a perceived or real slight? Do we really believe its okay never to hit someone? Or do we believe if they swing first, then we have every right to swing back?


**I felt the need to distinguish violence from domestic violence because for some reason the very label domestic violence doesn't seem to carry the same heavy taboo connotations that more generalized violence does.

Mad Men is bad for your health

I don't smoke because I believe there are dire health risks attached. And I choose to abstain from alcohol because I think its healthy and I've just seen too many soberly smart people become utter idiots when they imbibe.

Yet every time I watch an episode of Mad Men...



my fingers itch to hold a cigarette. I don't even want to light it up. I just want to wave, twirl and wag it around. Makes for such the dramatic prop.

You know with all the trouble that cigarette companies went through to entice new users, I wonder why they didn't have the sense to invest in the show for the prosperity of their future.


Mad Men cupcakes. Mmmmm.

H/T to Stay Frosty for the pic!

Celie!

A summary of the Color Purple in quotations.

"You sure is ugly!"

"You told Harpo to beat me!"

"Until you do right by me, everything you think about is gonna crumble."

And, my personal favorite, "I'm poor. Black. I may even be ugly, but dear God, I'm here! I'm here!"

Both times, when the first two lines came up, the entire theatre, filled with a mix of races, recited them along with the actors. Good Grief, what does it take for a quote to be made into an entry in the Bartlett's Familiar Quotations tomb? I guess, Tyler Perry, who has used these lines more than a few times, needs to become even more popular.

Like most musicals, there was broad humor and easy, catchy tunes. But there was no pauses. No time for reflection or even to allow for anything particularly disturbing or hurtful to set in before the next piece of action was already on the stage pushing off the current scene. And the book and movie, have no shortage of both, but it made the overall journey worthwhile. The painful beginning and middle is what contrasts so vividly with the happy ending. Maybe because of the peculiar format of a musical or the conscious choice of the writer and director, CP:The Musical just felt like any other melodramatic special/Tyler Perry movie of the week. [Was I the only one who thought of Sofia as Madea?]

So, while I appreciated the re visioning of Color Purple:The Musical, the effort didn't bring anything new to the table. I'll be re watching reruns of the Color Purple on TV when it suits me. (I like CP, I've just never felt the urge to own it. But I have watched the reruns plenty of times.)

When Allies Fail: Their heart was in the right place but...

Recently, an article appeared on Essence.com from one of my favorite bloggers, Micheal A. from the Cynical Ones. As usual, his writing was funny, compassionate and insightful.

So strolling down to the comments I wasn't surprised to find accolades and praises of those who agreed. I was a little more than surprised to find that there were people who were less than enamoured with the writer's (homo)sexuality - you know the fact that they feel its wrong because the Bible tells them so.

Oooookay. Thinking back it shouldn't have surprised me. But I did feel disappointed -because they didn't appreciate the message or the style? - both. But I was a little uplifted when more comments came that defended Micheal.

With each one, I felt a little more heartened, until the one or two that "defended" him by citing the fact that in God's eyes all sins are equal, that Christians are hypocritical. In other words, you good Christian are probably sinning right now, that in God's eyes are sins are equal, therefore hide those stones right away before you're struck by lightening.

*Sigh* Their heart was in the right place...

The good:its too cool and a sign that you are acknowledging the importance of some one's religion with this argument. The bad: you're still likening homosexuality to adultery, thievery, lying, etc and all the other BAD things the Bible tells you NOT TO DO. (And uncompassionate side note: I always thought that was some punk a** logic - you're doing bad stuff, so I should be able to do bad stuff? Fail. Epic.)

Back to using the Book(for whichever faith you come into contact with - Koran, Bible, --) and to prop up your arguments. [Not to sound contemptuous - I've just always thought that the abhorrence of homosexuality, belief in a woman's place, aligned with worldly, secular opinions TOO perfectly to ever think that they were only derived solely from the Bible.]

I've read a couple of sites that cite examples and well, (*Snore*). Seriously, though defending homosexuality with the Bible tends to be subtle and nuanced forays into logic and compassion. Which is why I think this argument hasn't gone mainstream yet. I am so so serious. It needs to find cute, quick ways to sum up their side of the argument - keeping it short and sweet helps keep it memorable, which is why so many people are able to quote the "its an abomination" vs the (real) story in revelations or prophesies of Daniel.

Otherwise, your best argument is along the lines of "live and let live" along with a tone of voice that insinuates that you are just about done with the topic. A hint that if the other person continues with this line of discussion you have psychological issues that you need a professional to address. Warning: for some people, you will have to hint a lot, before they catch on.

Now go forth and make it rain. Compassion and understanding, of course.

Blogs to Magazines: An Unhappy Tale

So, another blog I enjoyed bit the dust.

NO, not literally. They simply noticed the traffic and positive feedback and decided to transform themselves into a magazine. Which basically means less information and updates about themselves (the material that brought me to the blog) and more [filler] "informative" how to, ap-wire stories and press releases. And don't forget the paid advertisements for products that they haven't tried.

What's worse is that I tend to see the same crap/information/advice posted that I've seen 1000 times before. Which is why the personal touch was so necessary. The entertainment came from watching someone actually following the advice - their triumphs, failures and hangups. *You* made the advice interesting.

If I wanted an impersonal general interest health/fitness/entertainment magazine, I would have bought one already.

Next comes the transition from a free web-zine to a paid site. Fun times, indeed.

Ah, well. Just have to find another 'authentic' blog.

New Moon Rising

Romantic sappy tripe thy name is Twilight.



I've read 3 of the four books (for some reason I just seemed to have lost momentum). And the best book, was the first, Twilight itself.

In spite of what I know, don't be too surprised if you catch me sitting at very late/very early showing of New Moon. With my overpriced concession giant pretzel and Icee. Yes, its a recession, but some things are just too important to cut back on.

Rihanna's Music Takes Violent Turn

Rihanna released her new song from her upcoming album, entitled "Russian Roulette."

The lyrics below:

Take a breath take it deep
Calm yourself he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun and count to three
I’m sweating now moving slow
No time to think my turn to go

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life

Chorus X 2


Seriously, either Rihanna needs a (new?) therapist or a new publicist - whoever in her camp which decides what songs to release.

H/T Necole Bitchie for lyrics.

Serena's Body

MOVING ON...

About that cover of ESPN magazine: The Body Issue with Serena Williams gracing the cover? I'm not exactly jumping for joy.

As an individual her choices my empower and affirm her power of choice, but taken as part of a whole - woman's body on display for sale (celebrate!) it isn't exactly revolutionary or enlightening.

I was following a blog post from Post Bourgie, and the majority consensus is that Serena's cover is so much more empowering than the tacky posts at men's magazines...she's enjoying herself - the big smile, natural pose....picture shows her personality

Yeah, I had to disagree. I consider this the Beyonce vs. Video Models phenomenon.

Reasons why, in this case, Serena is receiving so much praise:

1) Personality - and no, I'm not talking about the fact that Serena is smiling and looks comfortable in her skin. I mean Serena has been a celebrity for some years now, with uber amount of interviews. We've actually heard her voice and her opinions.

A lot of pics of scantily clad females are of women aren't famous. We don't know their names, thoughts or opinions. We just know their bodies - which allows us to project our own thoughts/assumptions onto them.
Summary: People 'know' and like Serena, therefore think more favorably of her actions. "Its SERENA and we know she's not a bimbo, so this photo is cool."

2) Prestige - yep, the venue matters. Because certain publications, i.e. King are considered just T&A mags - everything associated with them seems dumbed down and cheap. That especially applies to their models.

2a) Classy naked poses - there are certain poses done so often, they have become cliche - the back(side) to the camera with a glance over the shoulder is definitely one of them, they are now considered lewd/low class. Indeed, anything that seems to draw attention to a woman's curve is considered not "high class".

However, Serena's classy pose is somewhat lessened by the fact that she is NAKED and naked skin still translates into titillation.

3) Shape and Color - Hold it. Serena is a beautiful young woman. She also doesn't look like most of the images in mainstream media. So the very fact that she is presented in the magazine (on the cover, no less) seems cutting edge and progressive.

But is it? Serena gained her fame and notoriety AND A FOLLOWING before executives decided to put her on the cover. It would seem more progressive if they had picked a no-name model with similar coloring and shape.

Appealing Mad Men

Ah, Mad Men.

Explaining to those who I kick off the tube every Sunday what the show is about - in a cool, thrilling, you should be watching this show too kind of way - is kind of difficult.

Keep in mind that I favor succinct and snappy responses...
Mad Men - it's about the people working in this advertising agency. In the 60s. Which is pretty groovy, ya know?

Yeah, I didn't convert anyone with that description.

The next time I decided to be a little more laconic..."its about the people who work in an advertisement agency. Specifically, its about watching how these people - typically white, upper middle class - deal with the changing social forces of the times - from the women's rights, to (kind of) homosexuality and the civil rights movement."

This explanation got a nod and my peeps actually stayed and watched. For five minutes before leaving me alone to watch the episode alone, but its a start. At least, its no longer totally unfathomably boring "costume" melodrama. Which is what I first thought when I first started watching it. But since I like costume melodramas that was part of the appeal.

But I've come to realize that the "fun" comes in the day after the episode airs. Reading various analysis of the show, made me rethink the seemingly boring, vapid, vain, characters of the show.

I've gotten so use to just being dragged along by melodrama, simple plot points and cardboard characters that it was easy at first to overlook Mad Men.

To enjoy Mad Men, you have to pay attention. Seriously. The show isn't plot driven. Nothing seems to be happening - until suddenly things happen. And I was left to how what just happened, happened? To ease my confusion, I had to play detective.
How does this character frowning relate to the scene before where he seemed to be on top of the world? What's this character's family background? Why is she so ambitious? Why hasn't the word feminism popped up yet - wasn't there any forerunner to that word?

You jump ahead, look back, check a theory, discard if it doesn't fit and then repeat. All in the seconds it takes before a new scene comes on. That's how you stay interested while watching the seemingly placid scenes of Mad Men.

Forget the water cooler. Head to your favorite blogs to check to see who has the cleverest analysis. Who, in the end, can share some light on what the freak is going on in the minds of those wacky Sterling Cooper minions.

Like I said in the beginning, I'm just enjoying the antics of advertising men (and a woman) executives in the early 1960s.

Beyond a "need-fear" based love

Long day, today.

Have long day tomorrow.

Sleep would be divine right now.

But a thought keeps circling my mind.

Sometimes, from some men and some women, I hear lamentations about how a working woman - especially a working woman making enough of a wage to support herself - has somehow put a damper/strain on the relationships. An imbalance between men and women was created because of this says the theory. In conclusion, relationships/marriages are no longer lasting because the women no longer "need" men.

On other days, I dismiss this theory out of hand. Categorize it as the the petty noises of a person who hates seeing the world change around them. In desperate need to blame something, anyone.

But right now. Tonight. It just feels so sad. That someone doesn't have enough faith in their partners to want to be with them without material incentives.

That people don't believe that they themselves, simple, fragile human selves, are not worthy of being loved.

Sad night. I hurry to bed hoping that sleep will brighten tomorrow.

Coraline - Lyrics without meaning

This 'song' comes from the end credits of the movie Coraline. I listened to the song several times before I was fully convinced that the lyrics are indeed nothing but gibberish.

I've heard so many laments about how music "nowadays" isn't about the lyrics it's just about the beat, the rhythm, you know the music?

But who cares? I don't decry this state (which I think is just temporary anyway) that much. Listening to this 1 minute and 20 seconds of music from Coraline, the music conveyed (communicated) the sense that I was being warned, possibly being chased and eventually I took a horribly wrong turn and things were falling apart.

Fear, worry, and excitement, all experienced in under two minutes. Without words. Just music.